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Bullying in Connecticut: Addressing the Problem in the Schoolyard and Online

Lee Morley
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Creative Commons
There can be serious and lasting consequences for kids who are bullied or who bully others.

BartlomiejPalosz, 15, committed suicide in 2013, on the first day of his sophomore year in high school. Now his parents are suing the town of Greenwich and its school board, claiming that not enough was done to address the years of bullying that their son endured. 

They said the school board and town officials failed to comply with mandatory anti-bullying policies.

Friends and family have told local media that Palosz was picked on by kids because he was tall, had acne, and a Polish accent. Town officials have acknowledged publicly that the boy was subjected to ridicule, humiliation, and intimidation. He used the family's shotgun to kill himself.

School and town officials have until September 8 to respond to the lawsuit.
 
Taking on Cyberbullying 

Bullying can take the form of spreading rumors, making threats, and physical or verbal abuse -- in-person and online. 

A 13-year-old girl in a fictional Connecticut town is both a victim and perpetrator of cyberbullying in a new novel called Hyacinth Girls by Connecticut native Lauren Frankel. In the book, the teen's legal guardian, who grew up in a time without the internet, has no real understanding of social media and the powerful role it plays in the girl?'s life. Near the end of the book, the teen comes perilously close to committing suicide.  

"Hyacinth Girls," by Lauren Frankel, is a story about bullying in a fictional Connecticut town.
"Hyacinth Girls," by Lauren Frankel, is a story about bullying in a fictional Connecticut town.

"I’ve noticed that the general perception of bullies is often far removed from the truth."
Lauren Frankel

Frankel said she wanted to write the story because she's worked in high schools in Connecticut and England and has seen how difficult it can be to protect kids from bullying. 

"I’ve also noticed that the general perception of bullies is often far removed from the truth," she said. 
"So there’s still an expectation that a bully will be someone with a troubled home life, poor grades, low esteem. But the truth is there is no single type of bully."  

Frankel said she wanted to tweak expectations about bullying and show how easily children can slip from one side of the equation to the other. The book also deals with the internet's worldwide reach.

"In a large number of cyberbullying cases, a private message, video, or photograph is suddenly shared with a public audience. When a person loses control of their public image, it can cause lasting damage to their private self," Frankel said. "And I think when the victim is young and still developing, it can feel like a life sentence."  

Frankel said suicide often seems like an escape route to teenagers when "the only way to delete what's happened online is to delete themselves." 

"I think that it would be great if teenagers could find ways to reaffirm who they are with their friends off-line as much they spend online, as well," she said. 

An online system created by Facebook with help from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence is helping kids more easily report troubling content on the site. It's also designed to help parents and peers know what to do.

Bullying involves a real or perceived imbalance of power and aggressive and repetitive behavior. But Center director Marc Brackett said the online space is a bit different.

Marc Brackett, director of Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence
Credit Twitter
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Twitter
Marc Brackett, director of Yale's Center for Emotional Intelligence

"Repetitive is not me constantly bullying you. It has to do with the idea that with one click, 3000 people can see the negative stimulus, for lack of a better term, that’s creating that discomfort in you," Brackett said. 

The Facebook system allows kids to easily click on a tool where they explain what’s bothering them. Based on the answers it offers a variety of suggestions.

“If it's ?'I don’t like that picture. I just don’t like the way I look,' it's not necessary bullying. How about just asking the person to take it down in a kind way? If someone is threatening to hurt you after school, we’re going to tell you to go to an adult in your school community immediately and let them know what happened, so you are not putting yourself in an unsafe position," Brackett said. 

He believes schools need to be more proactive in addressing the problem in all its forms.

“While bullying may happen on the playground or it may happen at night when kids are at home on social media channels, if it's affecting the kids behavior at school, then it’s a school-based problem, because oftentimes the repercussions and incidences don’t show up until kids are in school," he said. 

Yale has tracked responses to the Facebook tool. In a three month period it was used by 18 million kids. And 95 percent of the time, the incidents did not meet the definition of bullying.

Brackett said it's important to remember that technology is not the villain here; people who use technology need to use it wisely. Whether in the schoolyard or online, he said young people need to build the skills that help them to self-manage, and learn to be braver and kinder in their interactions.

Diane Orson is a special correspondent with Connecticut Public. She is a longtime reporter and contributor to National Public Radio. Her stories have been heard on Morning Edition, All Things Considered, Weekend Edition and Here And Now. Diane spent seven years as CT Public Radio's local host for Morning Edition.

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